Mike Rinker

[gambittt]

Name: Billy Rinker

Age: 13

Hair Color: Dirty Blond

Eye Color: Blue

Other Description: Billy wears a ripped up black shirt and ratty jeans.His hair is spiked up and he wears black skateboard shoes.He wears black fingerless gloves.

Personality: Billy is quiet and likes his privacy he loves to battle and he never gives up.

History: Billy grew up in Cerelean city his sister Megan loves thunder pokoemon so she became the boss of the power plant.His father had an arcanine that had a growlithe and Billy had it ever since.His father moved to Pallet Town and had a baby with a woman with the last name ketchum,Billy never met his half brother.Billy's mom was inducted intothe elite four in a region that nobody knew of but Billy was happy for her.He moved into his grandmas house and began his pokemon journey when he was 11.

Favorite Pokemon: Growlithe

YOUR PACK:

None until you get to the lab

YOUR POKEMON:

None until you get to the lab

[MorriganFearn]

Woah. You need to fix a bunch of stuff before we'd be willing to accept this.

1) You can't choose your own pokemon here, for starters. You need to go to the lab and ask for your starters like everyone else.

2) Is it Mike or Billy? Your title made me think that his name was Mike, but you seem to be calling him Billy.

3) You need to get his history under control. It's kinda crazy right now and all over the place. You start off talking about Billy's sister, and suddenly we jump to his father and Mrs. Ketchum, and then bam, I'm learning about his birth mother (I think... I can't tell if the sentence about his mother is about his step mother or his birth mother). Everyone seems to be all over the place. Focus on one character at a time, and keep it centered around Billy. Try putting your history in chronological order, and explain how the changes in his family affected Billy.

4) This is more a site thing, but we're more based off the games than the anime. Your history refers to a lot of things that might not exist in the Jenta-verse. For example, Ash doesn't exist.

5) Finally, you should look at your spelling, complete lack of spacing, and perhaps review the terms of the pokemon universe. Some things that popped out at me immediately: It's Cerulean City, not Cerelean city. Thunder is an electric attack, not a pokemon type.